Crooked sticks can draw straight lines by Alisha
Like many of you who are reading this right now, I was in pain. I was suffering, angry, confused, addicted, homeless, and hopeless. I was miserably comfortable, exhausted, confused, and overwhelmed. I had lost my identity and direction. I couldn't see beyond the pain I carried as well as created. I hated myself and everyone else.
I was out of excuses, with no one left to blame. I put hope to death and saw no way out of the huge mess I had created. I had abandoned my family and was living through the reflection of a cracked rearview mirror. Overcome with guilt and shame, all my bridges burned, and no one left to call or anywhere to go, I called Steelbridge on December 5th, 2021 at approximately 11:30 pm. I was expecting them to never call me back but to my relief was contacted the following day at 9:16 am by the Women's Director, Krystal. For the next hour, I explained that I was a huge mess. I was addicted to drugs, homeless, and a failure as a daughter, wife, and mother. Because of that I hated who I was and needed help but was not at all in agreement to do another program, especially one that required a year's commitment. I explained that I knew who God was but was convinced that He didn't want to know me. She listened attentively and patiently, she didn't argue or judge me. She simply said with confidence, "God will change your life if you’ll let him lead you. This program is your first step in building a new foundation, obtaining stability, and finding your identity." She then asked me if I was “willing to put in the hard work?”. Without hesitation, I said, "YES!"
My testimony is not about who I was or where I've been but instead, it’s about who I am presently, and where God is taking me. As I sit here writing this, I am amazed as I look back over the past 6 months. It required tons of hard work. I had to surrender: let go, give in and give up my will and my way. In this place, I have gained joy and peace that surpasses all understanding, even my own. I now have an identity and a mind that is being renewed daily.
God's word never returns void and His promises are true. Restoration is possible and no longer just a dream. Life today is not easy and being on this journey is continuously one of the hardest things I've ever done and continue to do. However, I'm no longer empty or alone. I know that the love of Jesus Christ is true, tangible, and forever real. I hold on tight to His hand and walk with Him, Un dia la Vez (one day at a time) because he knows the rest. I am rebuilding my relationship with my family and now have two grandkids who know me. I am working and looking forward to a vacation at the end of the year with my girls. Today I know who and whose I am, I am chosen, royalty returned home, and I am excited about where I'm going. After all, crooked sticks can and do draw straight lines.
